Tag Archives: Midlife crisis

Yes I need to shut my whore mouth

18 Jun

I decided that friday is going to be my rant for the week.  Maybe because im PMSing but I have a lot to bitch about today.    I am going to start with the creepy old man next door.

Dear you creepy old man,

STOP STARING AT ME.  Its fucking creepy.  You don’t even try to hide the fact that you’re staring.  The suspenders are fucking creepy too.  You hide in your house all day until I come outside to smoke and then magically appear in your yard looking at me.  Enough already before I come over there and kick your ass.

Dear neighbor in front of me.

I realise you just had a divorce and are probably going through a major midlife crisis,  But your corvette is not that cool.  We all know you have one.  You do not need to rev your engine in your garage for 45 mins.  WE GET IT.  And quit trying to kiss my ass.  Just because my Father in law kicked your ass doesn’t mean you need to suck up to me and keep trying to be friends.

And last but certainly not least.  My step dad.

Dear sneaky step dad,

I know what you are up to.  Now quit trying to be so damn sneaky.  Karma is going to come after you hard.

Feel free to add your rants in the comments=)

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